Beal-sai, Love Guru

I have a new Love Guru these days. Her name is Beal-Sai.

She doesn’t have a website, or a facebook page, or a blog, or a book or even a single word of wisdom. She teaches purely by example.

She lives, she loves, simply and truly. She loves without ideas, attachments or expectations.

She is totally free in the genuine expression of her truth from moment to moment, without shame, judgment, blame, guilt or any of the other dysfunctional emotions most of us experience in our relationships on a regular basis.

She has provided me with some of the most profound lessons about Love that I have recently learned.

Lesson 1: Unconditional Love

Beal-Sai Loves Truly, and unconditionally. When she Loves, it is simply because she does, because it feels good, right then in that moment. The recipients of her Love need not earn it, nor deserve it nor even return it in order to receive it. They need not be beautiful, nor smart, nor accomplished, nor happy nor sad, nor any other thing which we often see as meriting “Love”.

She is not attached to the form of Love. She does not seek to define her relationships in the present, nor to get any promises of Love or connection in the future. Those whom she loves are not held to any standards or beliefs about how they should be with her or how they should treat her if they are to deserve her Love.

She is perfectly content to Love, just for Loving, without holding on or trying to make that Love last, or trying to make the recipient of Her Love conform to any standards.

If they wrong her, they will likely be forgiven. If they deny her, they will likely be given another opportunity, whenever it feels right for her.

(The first portion of this blog entry was started over a year ago, and the lessons this pure one has taught me are still important today, so I shall continue where I left off. )

Lesson 2: Love for the sake of love

Beal-sai is not using her love to fill any void within herself. She loves just because that is the true expression of who and what she is. She does not love for any “reasons” and there are no reasons why she would withhold or deny her true love. Her love exists the same way as she exists- she just exists and that is enough.

She is not attaching any value to herself because of her love, nor is she trying to prove that she is loved and therefore valued and worthy of being loved.  She does not gain social status or position because she is loving or loved, nor would she ever be interested in such an exchange. In this regard her love is so pure, so true.

Lesson 3: Love without attachment or expectation.

Beal-sai is able to love so purely and truly in part because she has no attachment or expectation regarding the behavior of those whom she loves. She is not loving them and expecting that she will be therefore treated in any sort of way, or even loved in return. She is not asking for promises of future love or even considering such things. She does not care if the one she loves most also loves her the most, nor if they love others in the same way they love her.

In this way she is fully liberated in her love, and able to just Love. Her love does not depend on anything, but is able to just exist.

Beal-Sai is a dog. Literally. Specifically she is Quinn’s parents’ dog.

The observations that led me to these revelations and this blog post were made over a year ago when Quinn and I were dog-sitting for a week at Barb’s house.

Our time there felt much like a little vacation in many ways. I was grateful to have the time with Quinn all to myself, having to share his attentions only with our little Love Guru. She showed no signs of jealousy, yet certainly showed an interest in being a part of or at least near by to any loving that was going on between us.

I, on the other hand, had been in the grips of jealousy and had not appreciated “sharing” Quinn with Shellie at the home we three had come to share. I had many judgments about Quinn and Shellie both, both as individual people and as they related to each other.

I wanted so much to let go if the many ideas, attachments and expectations that were then crippling my own ability to love and feel loved in return. I wanted to love Quinn freely and truly, and realized that this could not exist with all the conditions I was putting on my love. In seeing little Beal-Sai, I was so inspired by how her mode of being and loving could greatly benefit me.

There was one evening when I woke from a nap and went to seek out Quinn, feeling a strong pull to be near to him. I looked around the house, and not seeing him anywhere, concluded that he was in Shellie’s room. I thought to myself, “If I had no attachment or expectations, but just true love, I would be totally fine with Quinn doing whatever he is doing with Shellie right now, and therefore would feel totally fine with just strolling in and plopping down beside them”. I realized that was not the case, but enjoyed the comparison and chose to release once more another layer of ideas.

I did this not for Quinn, not to liberate him from my constraints. Obviously I was not having much of a constraining effect on him. I did this for me. I wanted my love to be liberated. I wanted to be capable of loving this way, so that I could have reliable, unrestricted access to my own feelings of love. And if I truly had no expectations or attachments to how my love was received, I would also potentially gain unrestricted access to my loved one.

In the example above, it was obvious why my presence would not be welcome if I had been to enter Shellie’s room with attachment and expectation about what they were doing, why they were doing it, and what I thought that meant for me. Beal-Sai had come into the bedroom one afternoon while Quinn and I were engaged sexually. She just strolled up and plopped down on the corner of the bed, happy to be in the misdst of a loving exchange. That would not have been the case for me if I had happened upon Shellie and Quinn engaging sexually. And I realized that the only real difference was where I was coming from.

I was coming from a place of judgment, attachment and expectation. Beal-Sai was coming from a place of pure love. There was no reason for us to exclude her from our presence because she was not creating one. She would not have judged our bodies, our character, our actions. She would have had no attachment to how she was received, whether she was included, acknowledged or ever ejected from the room. She was in full and complete acceptance of everything going on and therefore she was fully and completely acceptable to us.

If I had gone in there to find Quinn and Shellie engaging sexually, I would have most likely judged them in many ways. I would have most likely wanted to get some attention, some validation that I was important and loved too. I would have most likely been very uncomfortable and thereby made everyone very uncomfortable.

Now, I am not necessarily saying that I have any particular desire to be present while Quinn and Shellie engage sexually. What I wanted was to be free to love him always, to be with him always, if that is what I wanted. I realized through watching this little puppy that the power to liberate my love rested in with me.

I also wanted very much, in a purely selfish way, to BE someone who is capable of loving as purely and truly as this. I envision my greater self as someone so fulfilled, so pure and loving that I have no needs of others and can just go around overflowing with love, abundantly showering my love upon all those who cross my path. I want to be the one who loves this beautiful, God-like love. I want to inspire others to be this too. I want the gift of my awesome love to be available for me to give to those whom I really do love, because I love them and I want them to have the very best love I can give them.

I am so thankful to have been inspired to be more of what I want to be and know I can be. Thank you Beal-Sai, love guru, for showing me what it means to love freely and truly.

 

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Susanne
    Aug 09, 2012 @ 13:35:32

    I really enjoyed reading this. Very inspiring.

    Reply

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“Love Ever True”

The Story of How Quinn, Shellie and I Came to Live In Love Together

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